The pursuit of happiness...

From the moment we're in a position to understand the world, we are taught to have things within our sphere of influence under lock down. Life teaches us that in order to get what we want we need to have full control of the things around us. And often that extends to the people as well. Most of my aspirations, from a tender age were channeled towards being in a position of power that would allow me to dictate the events and the course of my life. And for some time I actually thought I had it all figured out.
I knew when I would be done with my studies, and when I would be getting married. Not to mention all the other details like where I would live, my dream job and  how many children I would have. In my mind I had it all figured out. And boy, was it a pretty picture. Life according my plan, was gonna be great.
Problem was, in all the plans I was making I was forgetting one key factor.

No matter how much I planned, as long as I planned alone, in isolation from God, I planned in vain. Proverbs 16:9 reminds us that God directs our steps, despite the plans we may make. So why did I keep trying to make my own plans instead of allowing Him to direct my steps because it seemed like all I was doing was pulling in a direction contrary to the one God was taking me. But did that mean that I should sit back and do nothing at all in an attempt to allow God to 'direct' me without my constant interruption?
In the book of  Matthew 6:33, Jesus gives a pretty simple solution to this somewhat confounding situation. He says... 'But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.'
All God wanted me to do was to seek Him, His kingdom and His righteousness; and His leading would become clearer. Not only would His leading become clearer but He promises to meet us at our points of need: 'all these things shall be added unto you'. It is this very same solution that He offers us today.
How much simpler can life get?
...nompi

"I can say that I never knew what joy was like until I gave up pursuing happiness, or cared to live until I chose to die. For these two discoveries I am beholden to JESUS." - Malcolm Muggeridge

HE gets me :)

So heart break is ranked pretty close to death on the stress meter just cause its like that person is dead to you. All of a sudden one has to begin to relinquish any feelings they had for a certain person and they are no longer a part of your life. And so breaking up with my ex has been one of the toughest things I have ever experienced. Thoughts of doubt often creep into my mind, causing me to second guess my decision, because I know full well that my decision was not based on a lack of love for him, but because I want GOD to smile when HE looks down at my life. And I mean all facets of my life.. my friends, family,  work, future relationship and possible marriage.

And while breaking up with him was for the best, I believe, the past month has been awfully hard. I have been constantly teary and second guessing myself and my decision to end my relationship. Every where I turn I see his face, hear his voice and even smell his scent.

I got to thinking about whether or not there are any people in the Bible who went through something similar. To be honest, it didn’t take me too long to find one with whom I could identify. I realized that JESUS gets the pain I am going through.  He made the ultimate sacrifice just to see the FATHER smile. Everywhere He turned, His Father’s handy work He saw, His voice He heard speaking His will into His heart, His presence He felt constantly surrounding Him.  Even though HIS separation from HIS Father was the most painful thing to do, HE did it just to see me saved. JESUS made the ultimate sacrifice. It’s awesome knowing that when I tell HIM all my troubles, I know that HE gets me. He can can relate with my pain.

 Heb 4:15 says ''For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.'' JESUS feels pain when I feel pain and even the temptations that I go through, HE went through them too came out victorious.. 

In HIM I find all my strength...

...nompi 

spend my always

You know I've had some lonely days
I've made mistakes and had to pay
I've had some friends that walked away
Just like mama told me
But there's someone who's love is real
Who cares about the way I feel (I know you feel)
Every pain that erased every stain 
There's peace when I call out your name 

Jesus your my everything 
The cross you did that just for me
So whatever you take me through
I promise you
I'll spend my always with you

No one can touch my heart like you
Or make me smile the way you do 
I finally found someone who
Who really truly loves me
But when my strength has come and gone 
Your life in me it makes me strong
Your hand is where my heart belongs
You took all my pain
And erased every stain

Jesus your my everything 
The cross you did that just for me
So whatever you take me through
I promise you
I'll spend my always with you

Jesus my whole life has changed 
Since that day I cried your name
For everytime you brought me through
I promise you 
I'll spend my always with you.

I love u Jesus
Spend my always with you

Kirk Franklin (2002)

solitude

its awesome having someone with whom you can interact with and share our hopes and dreams with, and even our disappointments and concerns. the truth is GOD created us as beings who need to have that bond with other human beings. if HE didnt see the need for us to have some form of communion with other people, i believe strongly, that Adam may very well have been the only being on planet earth. but GOD in His infinite wisdom, placed people in our lives. (makes you realise how much more important people are..) and as a result of this need to relate with people, we find ourselves spending countless hours on gtalk, facebook, whatsapp, skype, mixit and all sorts of other social networks..
but despite the fact that GOD has endowed us with people with which to interact with, He still desires to bond with us as well. but how do we interact with GOD when there is all this noise surrounding us, when all we ever do is talk to each other and HE cant even get a word in edgewise.
while studying and reflecting on some of the great men and women in the Bible, i have come to realise that before greatness, came a time of quiet solitude.
each one of them had a time alone and in the stillness of that solitude GOD worked on each and everyone of them slowly but surely. look at Moses, after spending 40 years in the wilderness with sheep as his companions, GOD raised him up to be one of Israels greatest leaders. his willingness to suffer-long and offer his life in return for the disobedient Israelites was as a result of that quiet time spent listening to GOD.
 David.. after being anointed king of Israel in Saul's stead, had to spend some time fleeing for his life and most of that time in the caves. far away from the bustling sounds of the city and the people who praised him for his triumphs in battle. and it was at least 15 years after his anointing that he became king of Israel.
Elijah, John the Baptist.. and even Jesus... each one of them spent some time in quiet solitude.. waiting to hear from GOD, far away from all the hustle and bustle of city life.
now i'm not saying we should go to the wilderness and isolate ourselves from the people in our lives. but i do see a pattern when it comes to GOD speaking to people. it seems we hear HIM better when our focus is on HIM and nothing else is there to distract us.
so i'm learning to block out all the noise once in a while.. learning to listen and hear from GOD.. giving HIM quality time.. the time HE deserves.. even though at times there's this awkward silence.. and i dont know what to say to HIM.. just being in HIS presence is enough..
and the thing is.. everyone who comes out of spending time with GOD, rises to greatness.. in whatever sphere of life they may be in..
so that's me right now.. spending time with GOD :)
...nompi

nothing between..

1. Nothing between my soul and my Savior,
   Naught of this world’s delusive dream;
   I have renounced all sinful pleasure;
   Jesus is mine, there’s nothing between.
   • Refrain:
     Nothing between my soul and my Savior,
     So that His blessed face may be seen;
     Nothing preventing the least of His favor;
     Keep the way clear! Let nothing between.
2. Nothing between, like worldly pleasure;
   Habits of life, though harmless they seem,
   Must not my heart from Him ever sever;
   He is my all, there’s nothing between.
3. Nothing between, like pride or station;
   Self or friends shall not intervene;
   Though it may cost me much tribulation,
   I am resolved, there’s nothing between.
4. Nothing between, e’en many hard trials,
   Though the whole world against me convene;
   Watching with prayer and much self-denial,
   I’ll triumph at last, there’s nothing between.
5. By  Charles A. Tindley, 1905
   arr. by F. A. Clark

Fifty-Fifty

So every now and again there's a shift in the social dynamics of life. And like any other change that takes place in life, changes in our social structures are probably some of the toughest changes to adjust to. We are constantly meeting new people in our day to day lives and often the decision on who stays and who goes is based on what the individual in question has to offer us. And so it follows that those with the least to offer are left out in the cold.
And so after ending a four year relationship with my first boyfriend, the social dynamics in my life began to shift drastically.  My best friend moved away to Tanzania, my other two friends being engaged to be married, and yet another moving to another city, not to mention the others already scattered all over the shore, I came to the sad realisation that my circle of friends was about to face a complete overhaul.

So I decided to take things into my own hands. I was going to carry out a social experiment which would hopefully result in my making new friends and extending my circle of friends. Every week, I'd try to text a few people from my phone book, just to let them know that they are thought of. I began by sending texts to people with whom I often interact with at church. Also, I tried to reconnect with friends I had lost touch with as a result of my negligence. The texts I sent didn't require a response, as my intention was to mainly let the individuals know that they were thought of. And once in a while I would make a phone call when funds permitted.

Like you have probably already guessed, I got all sorts of responses. This one friend who was privy to several phone calls always promised to call back. But alas... she never did. At first I would get very irritated by it but as time progressed I came to accept and expect it of her. Another friend after receiving a message from me went to the extent of calling back because he genuinely thought i wanted something from him, much to my embarrassment.

Got me thinking about the basis of the standing relationships I had with people. Was I only ever calling certain people because I wanted something from them? Or perhaps people just aren't used to having others be nice to them..
We are so used to relationships where people are always taking and never giving. 

Often times, we think that friendship is a fifty fifty thing.. I have come to realise that its about giving a hundred percent. Even if the other person doesn't reciprocate. Looking at JESUS and seeing his approach to friendship has shown me what being a true friend is. JESUS was a friend to even those who scorned Him and even  to those who crucified HIM, HE showed His kindness to them. JESUS was friend to everyone.. those looked down upon by the community (Zacchaeus), those who had horrible ailments (the Woman with the issue of blood), those who had short tempers (Simon Peter), those who were ashamed to be seen with Him (Nicodemus), the list is endless.  HIS desire was to see them saved. What was my main purpose of acquiring friends? Did I have friends and only have them for my own benefit, or did I seek their salvation..
True friendship, when I look at JESUS, is friendship that seeks the betterment of the other person. It only happens when I place aside all my selfish desires.

So this is me, learning to be a true friend. Even when it hurts and I feel as though nobody is looking out for me, even when all I want to do is give up.. True friendship is ceasing to seek my own.

Prayer: Dear Jesus. Teach me to be a true friend, not just to those I know.. and those who want to see me prosper.. but even to those who don't know me at all..

...nompi

I'm thankful..

So one thing i'm thankful to GOD for is my friends and family. Knowing that there are people that I can turn to in times of need and even in the good times.. I know that they rejoice with me :)  I know not many people have the liberty to boast of that.. 

So thank you LORD for the blessing of people.. Teach me to love them wholeheartedly and reflect your character as I relate with people on a day to day basis.

...nompi